5th June 2023
Dear interested reader,
Do you realise that you are amazing?
Being amazing is not the same as being perfect, it’s better. Perfect is likely to be pretty boring, right? Boring of course is a name we give to a feeling, it’s not really a thought as such. We become aware of feelings, and give them names, but we do not always know why we have the feelings we have. Hold on to that thought because it’s important!
Some of you reading this letter may feel that your life is not a bed of roses , there may be some obvious signs of pressure such as stress, depression, anxiety, feeling angry and taking things out on others, scared that you do not feel normal, addictions or compulsions, feeling everything is hopeless, or perhaps you are just having trouble’sleeping. This is your brain’s reaction when your emotional needs are not being met in a balanced way – think of an emotion as something that is driving you to take some action. It’s not a sign of weakness and if possible you should seek support to help get things get back on track, it’s common sense. Talking to someone can be useful. This is particularly important if you have ever had to deal with trauma.
Just to be clear, when we talk about emotional needs, which we will do a lot on this website, we are not talking about “nice to haves.” Nice to haves are WANTS not needs. The difference is an important one. You have important emotional needs that are part of your biology, and include the need for security (being free from excessive fear); connection to others through intimacy and friendship; belonging to a wider community such as shared interest group; the need for status and self-esteem (that comes through learning and confidence in your own self worth in the world); the need for some sense of control over your own life choices; the need for attention –giving and receiving it – and very importantly a need for sense of purpose. You can use the Emotional Needs {EN} questionnaire on this website to check your EN score.
A question for you, do you use your observing self? This is the ability to view ourselves in our minds eye and reflect on things. Do you take much advantage of that great skill to check yourself out? it’s likely that only we humans can do this? Mostly we just do things out of habit. Talking about habits, our imaginations often dream up all sorts of anxiety provoking scenarios and emotions that get in the way of us thinking straight. This is where the superpower of beating the crap comes in, it’s a superpower that makes us smarter.
The thing is that we all have resources within us that allow us to adapt and manage difficult situations or change seemingly unshakeable behaviours. So please use this website and the content that has been designed, shaped and provided by some amazing young people. Like you, they wanted to explore and learn how to develop the superpower of beating the crap by getting their emotional needs met in a healthy balanced way and flourish their way into adulthood. Oh and by the way – they have a clear sense of purpose in wanting to make the world a better place for everyone, so there is one emotional need that now has some traction
Yours authentically,
Ingrid